Songs

Well, he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I'm proud of you. Can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile,
"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later. Can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."

I've long since retired and my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.

Hedgehog's Dilemma

If a hedgehog wants to give his warmth to other hedgehogs, the closer he approaches, the more they injure each other. It's the same with some people. Because he is frightened by the aches in his heart, he now seems so cowardly. He will realize in time that in growing up, people learn to get a sense of distance for each other's hurt feelings.

By my calculations...

I bought the second season of Highlander on Saturday. A mistake because I currently am a true college student. Being quite poor. I'm currently on disc three of eight. Total number of beheadings: somewhere around 3. Now since this is Highlander, there is a need for more beheadings. By my calculations there were 6 seasons, with 22 episode each season. An average a beheading of one Immortal per episode, well at least how it should work in my opinion. That should be 132 beheaded Immortals. So far if I remember correctly I think the current beheadings I've seen, season one and two, is around 16 or so. Quite below what I'm expecting. And quite a disappointment.

Slashdot is a festering pool of FUCKING Idiots

Today there was a decent link to an article about Algae being used for fuel production. So I clicked on it and read through it. After that I decided to read the comments. A terrible mistake soon ensued. Most of the comments were people saying how inefficient photosynthesis was compared to solar cells. Jesus, I'm in the wrong god damn profession. Apparently these guys think they are PhD Botanist, I guess that means my professor have been feeding false information. Damn dad is going to be pissed that all the money he spent on my worthless education just got flushed down the toilet by the brilliant comments. What they don't realize plants have been doing photosynthesis for about a billion years. If it was so inefficient plants would have changed. Just for information photosynthesis is about 25% efficient, the best solar cell is about 10% efficient. Chlorophyll also will renew itself, so there is no need to replace them like solar cells.

Songs

Once there was a way to get back homeward.
Once there was a way to get back home.
Sleep pretty darling do not cry,
And I will sing a lullaby.
Golden Slumbers fill your eyes,
Smiles awake you when you rise.
Sleep pretty darling do not cry,
And I will sing a lullaby.

Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
Can’t you understand
Oh my little girl

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Enjoy the silence

Irony

I did something different today. I decided to write an email to a former student. Just asking her if she wanted to get something to drink. Well in fact I didn't need to. I happened to see her before she got the email and asked her. She gladly accepted. So I went home and decided to get some Chinese food. For some reason they always give extra fortunate cookies. Which is all good because I love fortune cookies. I finish my meal and open my cookies. I read them and get quite a chuckle. The first one states:

The mood is right for a friendlyy chat to lead to romance.

The second one:

It's time you asked that special someone out on a date.

Pretty fucking funny.

The Cross Eyed Gunmen Ride again

Well somewhat. When we first started playing Star Wars Dave came up with a character history. One fateful day he called upon a person from his history. And on that the character Oth Saruna was born. It soon became the other Dave's signature character. We eventually ran an entire campaign dedicated to Oth's exploits. Oth's main traveling companion was Kelko Saruna. I should mention Oth is a scrawny Twi'lek, like the one that was Jabba's majordomo. Kelko is Oth's "brother". I shall give you a bit of Kelko's history.

Kelko Saruna was born on some distant planet; he was to young to notice anything other than his mother teat. At the tender age of 3 months he was dropped off on the planet of Ryloth, the Twi-lekian homeworld. He was taken in by the Saruna family, who also had a 3 month old child. Kelko and Oth grew up together, Kelko never noticed his unusual stature, and his race until one fateful day that a few neighborhood children taunted him of it. Oth, being the great friend and brother to Kelko, jumped one of the children and proceed to get his ass handed to him. After pulling Oth’s bloody and beaten body from the fray of children, Kelko turned and laid waste to the children, accidentally killing one in his rage. Fighting came naturally for Kelko because of his large size many children and later on enemies stayed away from him. His bloody rage would only kick in when his brother in arms, Oth, was threatened bodily and usually bleeding pretty damn profusely. Kelko always tried to keep his head in battle, but with Oth always jumping up behind him taunting people it was quite hard. At the age of 15 he asked his adoptive Twi-lek parents about his finding. From then on his real parents were constantly on his mind.
While Oth was away pursuing his dream of entering the Twi-lekian warrior caste. Kelko took a small job as a bouncer. Keeping the peace in the bar Kavsrach was relatively easy since many of the clientele were smaller than Kelko. Only a few times in the months he worked there did a large fight break out. During one fight Kelko became sliced across the chest and stomach. As he collapsed to the ground trying to hold in his gut, Kelko had a sense of foreboding that an occurrence such as this would happen again, perhaps this time quite fatal. He still carries these scars, only his brother Oth knows of them. One day after arriving home from work he found his brother being fiercely attacked by local children. Diving in to save Oth from this pummeling, Kelko pulled Oth to safety. While saving Oth, Kelko dealt an almost deadly blow to Olan Doneeta, who after that day swore revenge upon Kelko. When both Oth and Kelko were safe, Kelko turned to Oth said, "Lets get the hell out of here Oth."
Oth replied, "Where?"
Kelko pointed to the sky, "There."
After boarding the smuggler freighter, The Fortunate Spice, Kelko and Oth made way for the planet Nar Shadda, someplace in this god forsaken galaxy. While aboard the smuggler freighter, Oth, though not always quick with the wit did have a fair amount of intelligence, was taught by one of the “computer specialist”. During Oth’s training Kelko was trained by a Correllian named Jem Halan. Jem originally worked in the CorSec corporation before leaving under suspicious circumstances. Jem took Kelko under his wing and taught Kelko the tricks of the trade. The Fortunate Spice took a few pit stops during its 6 month travel to Nar Shadda, the captain a Sullustan by the name of Nep Tevv decide to take the long about way. During a stop over in Tynna while making a deal with the Black Sun, a deal which went bad, Kelko saved the captain and from then on Nep held Kelko as among the best regard. This caused some of the crew to become displeased with Kelko, many tormenting him. After saving the captain from the Black Sun, Kelko’s name quickly ran through the ranks of the Black Sun, a strong fearful enemy to find. The Fortunate Spice had little dealing with both the Rebellion and the Empire, because of the little amount of contact Kelko never found out much about either organization.
After reaching Nar Shadda, Oth and Kelko took their leave of The Fortunate Spice, entering a local bar Kelko and Oth sat down and order a few drinks. After 10 minutes of entering the bar, the few shipmates that despised Kelko entered and began to mouth off to Kelko. Oth never missing such a mouthing entered it taunting like hell. The taunting came to straight violence as one of the crew members drew a blaster and fire at Kelko. Diving for cover Kelko was surrounded by crewmen. Hiding behind a table Kelko heard Oth yell "Oh my God, Kelko, stop shooting Kelko……die, die all of you die….." A large blaster fight broke out, after the fighting had died down Kelko stood, looking in awe as Oth standing in the middle of a group of dead crewmen. A few days later, a Toydarian approached the two friends, apparently he had heard of an ass kicking Rodian and a freakin nut job Twi-lek named Oth. He needed them for a job, a crazy job, and they were just them guys he needed.

Ahh the fun memories of Oth and Kelko. One of the best stories we have is stealing Lando Calrissian's clothing. It all started when we were asked by Jabba to find a priceless heirloom. Well it was contest of sorts, bringing out the finest scoundrels in all of the system. It was a race between several groups. One group consisting of Han Solo, Lando Calrissian, and Chewbacca, risked our ire. During the contest, which we eventually won, we kept running into them. Well after the contest was over we continued on to make money. On one planet we ran into Lando, he never saw us coming. He had pissed Oth off, so we decided to get some revenge. With Oth piloting our speeder, Kelko hung out the door and snagged Lando off of the street. We proceeded to stripe Lando naked and then pushed him into the middle of a busy intersection.
We had other great adventures like that. Yesterday I decided to pick up Star Wars Galaxies: An Empire Divided. I've heard nothing but complaints about the bugs. While everything has bugs, which I haven't really run into. But it is alot of fun. Just like how I would imagine running Kelko. I've tried a few other MMORPGs, but I would have this is best one so far.

Kelko 1 Kelko 2

A new Phone

Last Saturday I was happily sitting around and doing nothing. Well my phone died on me and I plugged it in and went to turn it on. When a great message told me Phone is Locked Return for Servicing. Being somewhat resourceful I looked around on the net to see if there was a way to fix this. Well the only way was to get in contact with T-Mobile. So on Sunday I went into the local store and showed them my problem. The same store where I had bought the phone a few months ago, and which they were still displaying. The sales rep made a call and well it turns out they have to fucking ship it to me. I waited 5 days to get my phone and it finally came last night. I was expecting about 20 message or so since apparently everyone said they were calling me. But it only turned out to be few. I guess nobody loves me.

A Response

A few days ago I wrote about someone selling the Ark. Well I got a response from the seller. Unfortunately it wasn't the comedic response that I was hoping for.

All I can tell you is that there is fire that comes
from the Ark, I haven't seen any Nazis. The Ark is not
in itself judging us, its the mind of GOD that is
judgeing us. and what its trying to do is prevent the
Apocolypse from coming down on mankind; but its not
haveing much luck. Mankind is his own worst enemy.

The World has become Worse

As the human race becomes technologically superior, the social system get worse. With the advent of the Internet, items of import and even items that would scar a normal mind become available to the masses. News is delivered are high speeds. Before news had to wait till 5 and 11 o'clock. Then it became accessible with 24/7 News companies, like CNN and their cohorts. News is now feed constantly into the brain.

The peak was on a fateful day in late summer/early fall. The United States came to a stand still. Everyone was tuned in watching over and over and over and over and over and over and over, as the images bombard our senses. Our need for terror escalated. Every second there was an announce of TERROR! It still predominates today, with hourly topics of the war on TERROR! At the bottom of every screen a color: Today yellow, tomorrow could be orange or even red. Colors that made people and pause and think what happens when it turns red? A simple little color in the corner to inspire more terror.

We have evolved to a community that thrives on terror. With constant reports and threats. We also thrive on death. Stories of humanity and well-being are preempted for stories of death and destruction. We watched the first bombs drop on the city of Baghdad. We watch now soldiers fighting. Recently there surfaced a video of a young man. The video begins with the young man hugging his girlfriend goodbye as she enters an elevator. After the doors close and she begins her descent. The young man removes a small pistol from his jacket pocket and ends his life. This video first surfaced on the porn site before the family could do anything about it.

What is the point of this? Well tonight Tom Leykis asked his audience whether he should post a video on his website. An overwhelming amount of support from his listeners said yes. They just had to see it. You may ask what was this video of? It was a young man by the name of Nicholas Berg, the age of 26, only a few years older than myself. The video showed the brutual beheading of Nicholas. The images have been seared into my eyes. It will be one of those memories I will probably never forget. What was even worse, the video was linked was surrounded by porn. Hardcore porn. The vileness of the poster to surround a scene of violence like this with Hardcore fucking porn.

You may ask why did you watch it? Call it curiousity. Call it looking at the true world. What happens with religious extremists. Not with just Islam, but also any of the religions.

After watching this video, and learning the amount of responses to view it. I quite worry for the future generations. What will the news show to them on a daily basis?

Insert Generic Sounding Title Here

I swear to God this guy must want to bring around the apocalypse. I mean he won't back down. The Ark of the Covenant is back on sale one eBay.

This is a recreated Ark of the Covenant, the story of its recreation has been told in the Bonners Ferry Herald, 7183 main, Bonners ferry, Idaho 83805 208-267-5521. It must be noted that this recreated Ark of the Covenant is doing every thing just like the original did 3500 years ago. If a picture is needed contact the above newspaper for photo and the entire story, the first time the reporter attempted to photo the Ark his camera exploded. One of the things about the Ark was in its ability to converse with GOD, on a one on one level, and this Ark is no different. The Ark first came to my son (12) , Eagle Scout, and ask him if it was time to Obliterate mankind; the boy answered yes. The price for the Ark was set by the Ark itself, as it said "Their GOD is money, in this way I can Judge them."It also should be told of the ability the Ark has given me to heal by placing on of hands, I have to be asked of course. I can't say that a new ower will have God come to him in his dreams, as it does to me and my son, nor that it will give the ability to heal by placing on hands. It must be added that Person(s) unknown are interfering with my email and phone, keeping me from answering many questions or receiving emails.

I just realized something. This can't be the real Ark. To be truly believable coming from eBay. It has to be all capitalized and with about 20 @ and !. To find out some answers I decided to drop him a friendly email. Hopefully he will respond. Here's what I decided to send him.

Dear sonnymullis,

I have a question for the seller or possible people intercepting his emails. Does the recreated Ark melt Nazis similar to that from Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark? Also, since you stated that it is judging us. Does that mean you are trying to bring the apocalypse upon us?

To view the item, go to: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/ebayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=4150595070



Thank you,
calandryll

More Stuff

I just realized something about my creative little photoshop there. It was supposed to be for a Comedy Goldmine for Something Awful last week but people can't freakin' read. The idea was post Ewoks in world controversies. I figured the Florida recount, now that I'm a Floridian. I figured it was appropriate. And really it was a world controversy, I mean look how the world has changed since then. Back to the point. That Ewok looks mighty pissed off. I mean take a look at it again. I also get a really good kick out of it everytime I look at it. I must say it turned out to be a decent photoshop.

New Look

I like the new features that Blogger implemented. Much easier to add features and what not. And plus they added some new layouts that I really like. I really like this one nice, clean and easy on the eyes. Even has nice colors that complement each other.

The State of Porn

What is wrong with porn now a days? I mean the proliferation of fake breasts. God what a turn off. And then the whole fake construed face when the woman is getting it from all sides. And then the whole fake moaning, another major turn off. I like my porn with more natural acts of copulation. And another thing I hate the constant focus of the dude's wang. I mean damn I can check my own penis if I want to see one. I don't need to see some close up of some guys dong. And then they stick the camera behind the guy so all you get to see is the swaying of the guy's testicles. Back and forth, back and forth almost in a hypnotic motion. And the new thing in porn, well at least online porn. Is to have a guy talk the whole freakin time during scenes. You have a nice scene between caring and loving people but you have the camera guy making asinine comments.

Get it while it's Hot!

Yes you too can own the Ark of the Covenant! Of course if it doesn't melt Nazis' it's no good.

Disappointment

I have officially completed my first semester of my Masters. I am quite disappointed in myself. I reviewed my grades yesterday and I was disappointed with the outcome of them. I received an A, A- and B+ in Algal Phage, Medicinal Botany, and Marine Microbiology respectively. I was so close to straight A's. Let me say how much I have the +/- system. Because of that A- it counts as 3.8 instead of the 4.0, so technically it shouldn't even be an A since it's below a 4.0, so it totally fucks up my GPA, which is a 3.67. It made me want to cry.

What are you going to do for an A?

As the last week of labs was approaching and the ever exciting and frightful final lab practical approached. The day of the exam a student came in early worried about the exam. I told them not to worry it was just like the other one. Though still worried she said she would give me sexual favors for an A. I was quite taken back and caught off guard by her statement. I quickly replied that it would be unethical and I could be removed from school. Of course I thought to myself, maybe but she had a boyfriend and I didn't want to get involved with shit like that. So I recited it to several of my friends and almost everyone looked at me like I went through with it. Which irritated me. Does everyone think I would stoop to something that low? Damn.

Floridian

As of today I am now a Floridian. I have offically changed over my driver's license and registered to vote in the State of Florida. I actually feel different. As if I've severed my ties with my home state. It feels kinda odd, like I didn't want to give up a part of myself. After I returned from the DMV, which I miss the MD one they were so organized and high tech compared to Florida's. Here's a snippet of my conversation with a friend about what happaned to my at the DMV:

[09:57] saxypython: tell me about the floridian dmv
[09:57] Calan075: well there is no expectation of privacy....it's just a single booth and they yell your damn information out
[09:57] saxypython: hehe
[09:58] Calan075: so i'm sitting there waiting for my number to be called...but NO! the fuckers that were calling the numbers decided you know what i feel like sitting around and playing with myself while looking somewhat busy...and then they decide to take this random person who walked up in front of me...i don't think so bitch get a fucking number
[09:58] Calan075: and let me tell you this woman was hit by the ugly tree and then the god damn ugly ground
[09:59] saxypython: HA!
[09:59] Calan075: and then she got up and tried to climb the tree again
[09:59] Calan075: my other thing is anybody in florida can get a license...i mean this old woman was there that could barely walk getting a fucking license!! wtf
[10:00] saxypython: you'd think granny would have a jethro to drive her ass around
[10:00] Calan075: nope
[10:00] Calan075: when i'm that fucking old i want my 20 year old wife to drive me around dman it

That was my adventure in the DMV. I was quite suprised, it took maybe 5 minutes to actually get my license, the rest of the time I was sitting around. I swear the people that run the DMV do this on purpose just to frustrate people!!